The London Macnab - have you seen it?

NB - Published 1st April 2020 - Proceed with caution

 

There are many activities with urban roots - skateboarding, parcours and buildering (that’s climbing buildings) all spring to mind. There are still others that have flourished in the concrete jungle: climbing  has seen a boom in recent years away from the wind-blasted rock faces of Cumbria and towards trendy, primary colour-filled indoor climbing centres, while ParkRun has got thousands of people huffing their way around their local parks every weekend. However, some activities have remained largely the preserve of the countryside: shooting, stalking and fishing, to name just three. Until now, that is.

 

That’s because one forward-thinking GunsOnPegs member has secured the shooting and stalking rights for London’s Royal Parks. Sporting agency Big Ben Bangerz is seeking to introduce the soft-skinned urbanites of Islington and the bearded hipsters of Shoreditch to the wonderful world of shooting, stalking and fly fishing by way of the London Macnab.

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And to anyone with a passion for the chase, this looks like one heck of a challenge. A traditional Macnab, of course, involves catching a salmon, bagging a brace of grouse, and stalking a stag in one day. As with all Macnabs, the London version also has three pillars. The challenge, as explained by a Polly Wanakraka from Big Ben Bangerz is as follows:

 

 

“The idea is that guests will try to shoot a brace of ring-neck parakeets in Hyde Park, catch a salmon from the Thames, and stalk a Red deer in Richmond Park. It is a unique challenge and one that will be unlike any experience anyone has ever had before.” The idea Wanakraka explained, is to introduce city dwellers to countryside pursuits in an environment in which they feel comfortable. “Shooting, stalking and fishing can take you to all kinds of incredible landscapes and locations,” she said. “But we think there’s lots of people who find the countryside a bit intimidating and feel uncomfortable if they’re more than 50 yards from a Pret, a swanky cocktail bar or street-food pop-up. This is fieldsports for people who don’t like fields, and want to know that they can hop in an Uber and be back in the safety of Hackney Wick in an instant, but who might none-the-less enjoy traditionally rural pursuits like shooting.”

 

 

Speaking for ourselves in the office, we can’t help but hear the parakeets squawking in the trees or see them scud overhead without wanting to shadow-mount and swing, and who can have walked through Richmond Park without picturing a misty early-morning stalk? Speaking for myself, my flat overlooks the Thames and I've often wondered if there's any salmon running up on the tide. We wonder if this is the start of something new - what would the Birmingham, Liverpool or Manchester versions be?

 

 

According to Polly, being a distant relative of the Royal Family helped her to secure the sporting rights. Aside from the obviously unique nature of the challenge, she has had to employ modern technology to make the parakeet shooting possible. She explained: "Since parakeets, or 'pollies' as I like to call them, tend to sit high up in the trees, a traditional beating team doesn't work. So instead I have a squadron of drones disguised as birds of prey which I use to get the birds over the gun."

 

The most challenging element, as with a traditional Macnab, is likely to be the salmon. The Thames was once so replete with salmon that the working poor of the city threatened to riot if they had to eat any more of it. The Thames, however, became incredibly polluted over the course of the Industrial Revolution, and in the 50s the river was declared biologically dead. Even today, when there has been a lot of rain, the city’s Victorian sewers overflow into the river. However, the Thames harbours more life than ever before, with seals and dolphins heading into town and many fish species making a comeback. The famous Thames Trout is still often seen, especially after heavy rain.