Battle of the Off-Road Titans: Grenadier vs the best of the rest

Have you ever wondered which would win in a game of definitely-not-Top-Trumps between a tractor, an armoured personnel carrier, a Toyota and an INEOS Grenadier?

We've been talking about the INEOS Grenadier for a while now, and we get asked about it a lot. There are plenty of common questions. To name just three: is there any elbow room? (Yes, the driver's position is very comfortable); is the suspension any good? (Yes, very); what's the ground clearance like? (Huge).

Among the myriad queries, one that we have unaccountably yet to be asked is "How does it compare to a tractor, a military armoured personal carrier, and a Toyota Landcruiser?" Nevertheless, that's the question we've decided to answer.

Disclaimer

Before we go ahead, I need to address the elephant in the room. What this article very definitely is not is a game that rhymes with Pop Bumps. Any similarities that this article may have with a popular card game are purely coincidental.

Engines and whatnot

Let's begin with the powerplants of our four contenders. The petrol-engined INEOS Grenadier boasts a pretty hefty 282 BHP. This means that it beats its closest rival - the Toyota Landcruiser - by 14BHP, as well as the Bulldog Armoured personnel carrier, has a measly 240BHP. However with 400BHP our Massey-Ferguson MF 8740S takes the top spot on power.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, our tractor takes first place when it comes to torque, generating a very significant 1600NM - the sort of thing you need if you're dragging a plough through soil. The Landcruiser comes in second with 500NM, the Bulldog takes third, with 456NM, and finally the Grenadier at a very respectable 450NM, although the diesel version does offer more at 550NM.

With these kind of numbers, you'd be right to expect that these machines can all pull a bit of weight, and you'd be right. Again, in the Towing Capacity category the tractor romps home, being able to drag at least 10T. The MoD don't provide stats on the towing capability of the Bulldog, so it is disqualified. This means that the Grenadier takes second place, beating the Landcruiser by half a ton.

Practicality

Next, we'll take a look at the practical aspects of each of our contenders. With a 5-person cabin, the Grenadier only beats the tractor when it comes to moving people around, with the Toyota seating 7 and the APC capable of moving up to ten passengers. However, the Bulldog must lose some points here by reason of needing two people to operate it.

What the Grenadier loses in terms of passenger capacity, it makes up for in terms of cargo space, with a huge 2000L - space enough, we understand, to fit three sheep. With all five of the rear seats folded away, the Landcruiser can manage 1,943L, but when all 7 seats are in use, this drops to a mere 190L. The tractor takes last place, having no cargo area to speak of and being a bugger to park at the supermarket, but the APC wins this category with the ability to carry 3.5T of cargo, albeit at the expense of some passenger space.

An off-roader needs to be able to go pretty much anywhere, so something like a river should present very little challenge. The APC can be converted to 'swim', meaning that even the deepest body of water will present no challenge, so there's no beating it there. Although data on the wading ability of the Massey-Ferguson is not available, we assume that those massive wheels and huge ground clearance means it it will happily deal with most fords. Third place belongs to the Grenadier's with 800mm of wading depth at its disposal, which means it can tackle waterways a full 100mm deeper than the Landcruiser.

Firepower

Finally, the Bulldog's 7.62mm General Purpose Machine Gun means that it wins when it comes to armaments, though of course we imagine that plenty of Grenadier users will make good use of the 'safari' (read: lamping) windows. Having these means that it beats both the Landcruiser and the Massey, which tie for third.

So what have we learned?

Let's take stock. If you want to tow really heavy stuff, the tractor is your go-to, but you're going to miss out on the ability to move people and things around without using a trailer. The APC is great for moving stuff, human and non-human, around too, and is excellent if you foresee yourself having to cross very deep bodies of water or expect to come under enemy fire. However, although it can't pull as much as a the Massey Ferguson, or wade a deep as the Bulldog, we must conclude that the Grenadier looks like the most practical and versatile choice.

Want to find out for yourself? Book an INEOS Grenadier test drive